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[He's ignoring Lance's questions; he's not sure he can answer any of them, and more importantly, he's supposed to be quiet just in case?! He's tip-toeing forward, a hand extended behind himself...fanning Lance back, further indicating for him to hang back by the tree.

Tip toeing becomes squat-advancing, maneuvering around some bushes, winding his way up to...

An abandoned, broken down fruit cart. Menacing as much as it's useless. He doesn't make a beeline for it even after discerning what it is. He's looking from here to there, trying to spot any additional anomalies....

He got nothin'.]

[ keith is soon joined by a pair of legs, owned by a paladin who definitely doesn't care enough to be at all subtle or sneaky about his approach. especially after realizing what it is they're trying to sneak up on. ]

Gee. You think it heard us?

[Is it domestic abuse if he punches Lance?]

You need to stop talking.

[He's all about being unsubtle now, approaching the cart like a fish to a -- err, not hook, but something shiny. Just like that Moana song.]

This must have belonged to that guy.

[But it's still loaded with fruit? The heck were his muggers after?]

[ lance follows after him, making a full loop around the cart, looking it over and even picking up a few of the fruit to give it some sniffs...

but rather than respond, or provide any insight, he just straightens up to shrug at keith. then point at his mouth. which he pointedly keeps shut.

gee, he'd like to help but he was told not to talk... hmph. ]

[Any minute now, Lance is gonna get caught in a bear trap. He's preoccupying himself with looking between the cart and the immediate area -- you know, for a dead body. The cart simply seems like it's broken; no bloodstains, nothing super grim.

He doesn't even know Lance is going along with his gag order. Ah, how nice.]

I guess we should keep moving.

[After two seconds of staring at the cart, Detective Keith has grown bored.]

[ WOW...

lance just gives the back of keith's head a dead-eye stare, slumping forward slightly in his exasperation. he lets out a short, disgruntled huff, turning on a heel to head down the nearest possible path... which is really nothing more than a vague parting in the trees. but it looks like it could be where the cart itself could have come from, unless it was just sort of... dumped there. somehow.

he gets about five feet into the thickets before he very nearly slips, forcing a yelp out of his mouth and thereby breaking that self-imposed silent strike. rip. ]

Ew, what the heck, what's—

[ he stills. ]

...is this blood?

[It was a subconscious thing, handing the map over...but look at that. Look at Lance go. He's still totally unaware of his butthurtery -- butthurtage? But he's following along after him, keeping an eye out for anything else out of the ordinary. Rope, a glint of suspicion, a messy thicket that they should probably circumnavigate.]

Lance, don't -- Lance-!

[Keith rushes him like Bambi bustling away from that hunter, not that Lance was very far ahead of him -- just give feet or so. He's got an arm slung around his middle from behind in approximately 3.4 seconds. What if there was a drop there, he's preparing to scold him when-?]

Is what blood?

[Pushing up on his tippy toes to see over his shoulder...]

[ he holds his arms out somewhat protectively, as if quietly urging keith to remain behind him. the lighting isn't great, but leaning in, giving the strange puddle of liquid a sniff and — yeah, that definitely has to be blood. he looks on, and further up ahead he can see more, droplets of it... like someone had stopped to get off a cart, maybe relieve himself a little, and someone or something decided to give the jump on them. ]

Alright, [ he says slowly, ] I take back all the times I made fun of you for being paranoid.

[ this is definitely something to be worried about now. ]

[Of course, Lance tries to keep him at bay and Keith's right there, pushing down his arm with two hands.]

All of them?

[That's so many. They'll have to revisit that topic. Have some respect, Keith, a guy (probably) died.]

I guess this means we're on the right track. [Spoken like a real sociopath -- err, DETECTIVE.] Stay behind me.

[While pushing forward. What's with them and using themselves as meat shields...]

[ idk but it's annoying lance... between the two of them, he wasn't the one who recently tried to commit suicide okay!

so he reaches for that new hood of keith's, yanking him back. ]

How about the one with the shield go first, huh??

[ aka his paladin suit shield... baka... he activates it, moving forward with a frown, using his long(er) legs to his advantage. ]

[Foiled by his own outfit.

He'd snap back if he had anything snappy to say. Lance does have a shield, it would be super to use it right now and not have to rely solely on his attentiveness, reaction time...look it's his innate desire to die that's got him all confident at times like these.

A glare settles squarely on Lance's back before he treading along after -- quietly, adjusting his hood while peering from here to to there...over his shoulder. If he were an insane woodland hobo, where would he put a body?]

[ assuming whoever did this is human... er. alien human.

you know what i mean.

lance approaches much more cautiously than keith would have, of course, taking care to step around each splatter of blood that they follow. he keeps his eyes peeled, glancing all around and ready to summon his bayard should it become necessary (and he's really hoping it won't have to be).

he pauses only after about twenty, thirsty paces in, and he hears the faint sound of — ]

Someone moaning???

[ not in the nice way, either. he glances at keith briefly before pressing onward, turning a pseudo-corner to find— ]

Oh! That's him!

[ the vendor is huddled up against a rock, whimpering about the wound on his leg. he startles when lance shouts, and for a second he looks relieved to see them.

and then suddenly he's waving his hands, shaking his head at them, as if trying to make them... go away??

weird.. you'd think he'd be happier to see is saviors, hmph. ]

[Keith's upkeeping the idea of treading after Lance, not by choice, but because he's been convinced that this is a much more functional method. Unconcerned by the bloodspots or treading through it (which is nasty), he's more concerned with things that could pose a more...immediate, possibly lethal threat. Lions, tigers, bears, hostile E.T's trying to take over the farm.

The moaning isn't something he foresees. He pauses in place, makes a grab for the paladin automatically, fingers just barely slipping beneath the armor of his chestpiece.]

Lance wait.

[Quick, hushed. The guy sounds in need for sure, but his first instinct isn't to run over and administer first aid. Upon closer inspection, closer inspection being a proper glance -- his eyes trained on the injured vendor, it seems like he's gesturing for them to flee?

Which also isn't something he does. He's just rooted in place, not in fear, but trying to...establish what's going on exactly before pressing forward.]

Something's not right.

[ words doesn't seem to be the vendor's specialty, likely thanks to all the blood he's lost. but he's definitely trying to flag them away from something, which lance only finds more curious than anything else. there doesn't seem to be anything around, after all. he takes a tentative step forward, but only stops again when keith speaks up. ]

Yeah, you'd think he'd be a little happier to see us...

[ the low mutter is spoken while he turns, pivoting back towards keith with an idle shake of his head. he's just about to say something else about gratitude or the lack thereof, when he sees something out of the corner of his eye and— ]

Keith, watch out!!

[ he's not sure what it is, but something definitely whips out from a nearby brush towards keith. whether or not the other boy noticed (he probably did, considering how much more vigilant he'd been), lance throws himself in the way. in the process, his shield deactivates, allowing for whatever it was to — wrap around his middle?!

upon closer inspection it appears to be a vine, long and thick and angry, hefting lance high up into the treeline. he's shouting the entire time, hanging on for dear life.

this is not the tentacle porn we asked for...! ]

[Keith's ready at the jump, mostly because he'd lost interest in the vendor the moment he seemed to be flagging them elsewhere. Sure, some distant part of him wants to help, even with Lance barking up the wrong tree as a backdrop.

Anyway, he's ready for what's coming, as in, he knows something's there but he's not sure what. Knife at the ready, he--]

Lance, no!

[He's too slow to prevent the initial grab; he's bolting after him -- ignoring the fact that there may be other vines around to grab him in turn. He's focused on cutting Lance loose before this turns into a situation that leaves them in similar form to that vendor. Or worse. Maybe they're meant to be feed for a carnivorous plant?

Anyway, there's a glint of his knife as Keith sends it flying (as he likes to do so much lately...); it should pierce the vine, and if all goes according to plan, if he's measured it right, it should slice right through and he should be near enough to catch Lance.

Or break his fall.]

[ alien plant though it may be, it ain't got nothing on keith's alien knife and his alien knife-throwing abilities. (though maybe that part's human? tough to say.) in any case, the blade slices clean through the waving vine, spraying all kinds of gross, green-white... sap?? blood??? thing all over themselves and the ground, and also lance is going down, all marked with a sharp shout that follows him his entire descent.

it would have been a nice catch, bridal-style, if lance had actually been facing that way. instead, he falls face-forward into keith, arms flinging around his neck and falling with enough force to send them both toppling back down. ]

Keith! Keith, oh my god, I could kiss you!

[ but he won't, because he's sure there are more scary alien vines to contend with, and so instead he scrambles up to his feat, hastily summoning his bayard-rifle. ]

What the heck is this thing?!

[Well, that was sloppier than it needed to be on several levels; he managed to free Lance in record time which is great, at least. He barely feels being knocked onto his back--]

Save it.

[He thinks to advise him to..go back to the vendor, get him somewhere safe, but there he goes with that rifle. He pushes up from his elbows and onto his feet, making a quick dash for his knife..which ended up piercing the bark of a tree just yonder.]

I don't know what it is -- just cover me!

[While still running, headlong toward the base of that vine thing. The creature seems to be in a bit of a dizzy over...having a 'limb'? lopped off, so this is either a great time to attack the brain or a terribly volatile time to do it. Both, debatably.]

Like you even have to ask!

[ not that keith technically asked... but it's good to know getting bled on by a violent alien vine doesn't deter the two of them from being themselves, though their battle banter probably isn't providing that much comfort to the vendor still on the ground behind them.

but there keith goes, all willy nilly again. fortunately lance is ready, already shouldering his rifle and taking aim. his first shot catches another vine coming for keith's right leg, and the second gets another aiming for his left arm. the vines shudder and retreat angrily, before another, uninjured one lashes out in retaliation. ]

God, it's like Hydro!

[ hydra. he means hydra. ]

They just keep coming!!

[Keith's like a psychopath, covered in Alien blood (sap, gross sap) but truckin' his way along, mask shielding his face in full effect, lest he get any of that garbo in his eyes.

Who know if Keith even can hear what the heck Lance's going on about. Hydros, hydras, hydrants; he's on cruise control, heading for something that looks decidedly like a stumpy whomping willow. He's trying to decide whether the thing needs to be uprooted or just have its husk made into firewood when a thin, ropelike vine shoots seemingly out of nowhere; he manages to avoid it, diving to the side, rolling -- slipping on all fours for half a second.]

Aim for the roots-!

[A second, thicker vine swings down from above, meaning to flatten him most probably; he'll be tapping in his knife's extendo-ability, holding it horizontally overhead so the thing impales itself on it -- slices itself open to properly bathe Keith in its guts.

Which is well and great, but this sap is working against him all of a sudden.]

[ omG that's so gross, lance is gonna throw up, why is everything on this planet disgusting— ]

The what?!

[ roots? what roots!! lance can't see crap from where he stands, but if he were to venture any closer he'd lose what vantage point he has to ward off any more of those vindictive vines. keith's closer, is able to see past the brush and shrubbery, but lance isn't quite so lucky.

hastily, he tries to remember where keith had been running towards, before he was forced to dodge and defend. he grimaces, taking a leaf out of keith's book for a second to forgo the safer route in aiming for the vines he can see, to aim instead for the source of them all that he can't

he lets loose a rapid-fire of shots into the shrubbery, hoping he's at least close... ]

[i'm sorry keith can't tell what's going on bc his biceps are stuck to his ribs.

Which isn't an untruth; he's sticky all over, being an agile focker has suddenly been compromised. At least if he's stuck, he's got his Big Knife activated in hand. In comes the rapidfire, which, in general, has the plant totally freaking out. It's probably working, it has to be, but that doesn't mean this harry potter bestiary knockoff's gonna go down quietly. Those vinelike limbs begin thrashing, Keith actually gets swatted -- sent careening into the nearest tree...which is fine, could be worse.

Is it hissing, though? It sounds like it's hissing. Keith can't exactly focus on it right now on principle of being concussed/seeing double. Furthermore, why does it smell like eggs?]

[ hopefully that's just the stench of its death?! ]

—Keith!!

[ the rapidfire comes to a sudden halt when the shorter boy is knocked aside. he rushes over, the killer alien plant now the furthest thing from his mind. he can see keith moving, at least, so that's good, but that doesn't make his feet go any slower as he runs over and drops to a knee by his side. ]

Dude, are you okay? C'mon— [ he grabs a hold of one of keith's arms ohmygosh it's so sticky gross and hoists him up, already trying to move further away. ]

It sounds like it's gonna blow or something!

[Post-s4 Lance keeps manhandling Keith...it's so romantic..

He's up and up, senses being overwrought with a ton of things that don't make sense; he's sticky because there's a tree having a noisy, violent death.]

I'm fine. [Minus the sharp, sudden headache and the fact that he can't tell safety apart from running directly into danger...which means Lance's presence here is great. For how lithe and deerlike he'd been in his movements a moment ago, he takes one step, stumbles, seizes whatever he can of Lance to prevent that--] We gotta get out of here.

[Nobody saw that. This is grade A concussed advice.]

[ lance doesn't like the way keith sways, or how his eyes don't seem to focus on him even when they're looking right at him. hastily, he ducks under one of keith's arms, shouldering the other boy's weight as he starts to brisk-walk them over to where the injured vendor remains. turns out, there's a reason he'd dragged himself over there, out of reach from those swinging vines.

there is a large rock nearby, just big enough to shield all three of them. he shouts for the vendor to take cover, moving himself and keith behind it while the alien plant continues to make whistling, distressed noises. they all hunker down just in time for the plant to explode, like some sort of self-destruct trigger, sending bits of plant and vines and sticky blood-sap all over within a two-mile radius. lance makes a gagging face, slapping a hand over his nose and mouth as an unpleasant stench fills the air... likely the plant's last form of defense.

once he trusts himself to speak, he leans back against the rock, resting his head there. ]

Is everybody okay...?

[The crutch helps, even if he'd deny any ailment at all ever. Things should straighten out soon, otherwise he'll be losing the contents of his stomach. Everything shouldn't be moving like a kaleidoscope.

He settles behind the rock, sitting on both knees in a decidedly uncool way, knife sapped to his palm still -- the blade digs into the ground like a kickstand, keeping him hunched over without...faceplanting. An explosion happens, a surge of...shit flies everywhere. He's automatically holding his breath.
...It releases once Lance speaks up.]

Y, yeah. Are you alright?

[There's a disembodied groan -- actually belonging to that vendor. He sounds good too.]

Edited 2017-11-04 13:48 (UTC)

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