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[emblazes]

 
ᴄᴀʟʟ × ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ × ᴛᴇxᴛ

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[emblazes]

[The crutch helps, even if he'd deny any ailment at all ever. Things should straighten out soon, otherwise he'll be losing the contents of his stomach. Everything shouldn't be moving like a kaleidoscope.

He settles behind the rock, sitting on both knees in a decidedly uncool way, knife sapped to his palm still -- the blade digs into the ground like a kickstand, keeping him hunched over without...faceplanting. An explosion happens, a surge of...shit flies everywhere. He's automatically holding his breath.
...It releases once Lance speaks up.]

Y, yeah. Are you alright?

[There's a disembodied groan -- actually belonging to that vendor. He sounds good too.]

[competing]

[ a rough sigh. ]

Yep, just peachy.

[ he pushes himself up off the rock, looking to keith, then to the vendor, trying to get a good assessment of how they are as a group... honestly? not looking so well. neither seem to be in a good spot to be walking right now, for wildly different reasons, and while the immediate danger seems to have... taken care of itself. it's best not to linger.

but the cart is still quite a ways away. with a broken axel and everything.

another sigh, and he's reachihng behind for his phone. ]

Gonna have to call in some reinforcements, I think...

[emblazes]

We don't need help.

[While pushing himself up, using that rock to his advantage. What if there's more danger to tread? What if they get chewed out? He'd rather not look weak here, especially when their main enemy was a tree.

Blade training...

He's up, shakily, but up anyway.]

If you have time to make phone calls, use it to make a tourniquet.

[He doesn't know the extent of the fruit vendor's damage(s), but tourniquets are always helpful. He'll unfasten the belt from his waist, letting that along with the pouch fall to the ground -- for Lance. Easy access to his first aid shit. He's gonna go ahead and inspect the dead tree now, make sure it's dead and all. With double vision.]

[competing]

Wha—?

[ both vendor and ex-blue paladin stare rather dumbstruck as keith struggles to move past them, back towards the devil plant. he definitely doesn't move as fast as he probably suspects he does, because both lance and the vendor are allowed a full two seconds to gawk after him, then one more to share a look between each other, before lance almost lazily reaches for the back of keith's hood again, gently yanking him back. ]

Where do you think you're going? [ cool your jets, keith... ]

Dunno if you've noticed, but two of us aren't exactly in the best shape to be walking around right now. [ at this, the vendor nods emphatically. ] Tourniquet or not, we still need help getting out of here with both of you.

[emblazes]

[It's not a move done as quickly as it could've been were he at 100%, but once he's stopped, he turns to grab Lance by his wrist -- visibly aggravated. He's sticky, tired, and now he's being treated like an invalid; dilated pupils search him, trying to decide where to properly glare if he's glaring at kaleidoscope Lance.]

I'm fine. [An immediate correction, barely listening as Lance presses on.] Fix his cart and wheel him off.

[He's just being a dick because his brain got scrambled...plz forgiv.]

[competing]

Keith.

[ lance's tone is even, oddly sharp. for a moment, he doesn't press on, and the vendor is left staring between the two worriedly.

then lance takes in a deep, steadying breath. ]

Let's not fight in front of our new friend, okay? [ lance literally only knows the guy's name, but whatever. ] Everybody hates it when couples fight in public.

[ as if to punctuate their relationship status, he leans forward to press a quick, chaste kiss to his lips. ]

Besides, what the heck do I know about fixing wheels? [ between the two of them, keith's definitely more likely to be a wrenchhead... ] I'm gonna bring you both back to the cart, and you can fix it. Sound good?

[ a compromise, of sorts. ]

[emblazes]

[Ah, yes, this is the point where Keith comes to his senses and realizes he's a giant, throbbing bag of dicks. The grip on his arm loosens, there's barely reciprocation on his end of the kiss. Some natural counter-pressure does develop.]

Sorry. [Softly, still kind of ignoring that the vendor's awake and stuck hanging out with them through this.] Yeah.

[He'll release his arm entirely now, using that fist to rub his forehead. As if to rub that dizziness away. It's just starting to clear up, barely but noticeably.]

[competing]

[ lance's smile is fond, but also relieved. he hadn't been sure if keith would have put up a bigger fight, as they're always sort of the most volatile with each other. he leans forward for another kiss, this time between keith's brow, but then he's turning to the vendor with a serious expression. he's wearing his paladin armor, so he hasn't any extra clothes to make tourniquets out of himself... but thankfully the vendor doesn't seem too sad about losing his little vest.

once hes all patched up (well, as patched up as he can be), lance gets onto his feet. looks his two companions over. ]

Okay, [ he says. very evenly. ]

Who wants the front, and who wants the back?

[ because clearly the only way he gets both of them back is by carrying them. at the same time. ]

[emblazes]

[While Lance handles the first aid stuff, Keith just kind of stands in place waiting for his vision to repair itself. He'll shift between keeping his eyes closed, blinking hard, trying to focus on one thing in particular. It kind of helps as time passes, or maybe it's because time's passing. By the time he's finished, things only look fuzzy to him.

Only.

He's able to retrieve his belt, strapping it back around his waist with that pouch attachment which is in fact an achievement.]

Wh-?

[Lance'll get a look akin to him smelling rotten eggs.]

I'll get there myself...

[What a weird way to ask a thing like that, gross.]

[competing]

[ lance just meets that look coolly. ]

You're practically wobbling.

[ there's a moment of silence, then the vendor clears his throat. i can take the back, he offers graciously. ]

[emblazes]

Stop talking about it and I won't.

[?????

Anyway, he looks to the vendor, back to Lance, a nod for him to go collect his dead weight -- then he realizes he'll have to help hoist him up.

Can Lance even carry him?]

Maybe one of us should go get a horse.

[A suggestion he would've come up with an hour ago if he weren't concussed.]

[competing]

And leave the other two defenseless?

[ because lbr he'd be the one to have to leave and get the horse, considering the aforementioned wobbling.

he starts to dig his phone out again. ]

Let me just call somebody, okay??

[emblazes]

[Keith is the guy who's trying to get to east bumfuck but won't pull over to ask where the highway is. He'll grab Lance's arm again -- much more gentler than last time.]

I'll go get the horse.

[Duh. Of course. This is how people mysteriously end up face down in ravines.]

[competing]

Well now I'm positive you're concussed because we literally just had this conversation.

[ nobody is going anywhere without everybody else! ]

whys this so funny

[emblazes]

[His gaze narrows--]

We're talking about it because you're not listening!

[2x overly defensive over a small accusation.]

BC THEY'RE AN OLD MARRIED COUPLE

[competing]

What do you mean I'm not listening?!

[ lance takes a step forward, leaning in close, but before he can even get started on what is likely a tirade, the vendor clears his throat again roughly. lance, distracted, looks over—



to see the man has risen to his feet, leaning heavily on a wooden stick he'd likely picked up from somewhere nearby.

oh look, he says, oh-so-casually, now you don't have to carry both of us.

lance slides a look towards keith, expression 100% accusatory. ]

theyre 4

[emblazes]

[He's considering a headbutt just before the vendor interjects; he turns to look, looks between he and Lance a few times....he doesn't really Get It until the poor guy speaks up.

...And then he's exchanging a fast glare.]

So we don't need a horse.

[Great...now they can go home -- or fix the cart, but not idle around arguing at least.]

four and married

[competing]

Guess not.

[ his own words are curt, tongue skipping on the "t" of that last word. he won't bother to reiterate his offer to carry keith, but he will insist on at least helping him walk, which he does so wordlessly, holding out a hand towards him. ]

just like in saddam's lair

[emblazes]

[He'll get a look for that inappropriate accent stuff, frowning uncertainly all the while. He does at least, following that hesitance, take Lance's hand in a light grip.]

...It wouldn't have been that hard.

this took a turn

[competing]

It would've been hard enough, [ lance will say in a saccharine tone, contrasting keith's light grip with a poignant squeeze. the vendor ends up leading them back, wobbling all the way, but he seems considerably relieved that the boys are no longer fighting... or on the cusp of fighting... boys, get along. ]

it had to since we got stalkers

[emblazes]

[He's probably sick of their shit. Beyond sick of it. He probably has children -- sons, that do shit like this all the time. Especially since Lance sees Keith as like, A Bro.

Either way, he's quiet, not even challenging that grip with a finger-breaky counter. Weeeiiird....]

hmph...

[competing]

[ i hate you

anyway, lance very dutifully helps his bro along to the broken cart, where he parks keith right in front of the broken wheel. he releases his hand just to gesture at it. ]

Alrighty, do your thing.

Re: Re: Re:

[emblazes]

[Why.

Ah, okay. They're here, and Keith hesitates a moment before lowering to have a better looksee at what he's working with...but it's dark, so he's gotta fish out his phone, borrow light from that...

Squinting......]

Do you have a screwdriver?

[competing]

[ lance just stares at the back of keith's head. ]

Oh, sure, yeah, let me just check my handy dandy utility belt here — oh wait.

[ the vendor then clears his throat again, shuffling around to draw out a small bag from within the cart.

and he pulls out a screwdriver. a space screwdriver.

will this do? ]

[emblazes]

[A space screwdriver is fine.

Give it to him before he passes out, concussed and gay.]