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[emblazes]

 
ᴄᴀʟʟ × ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ × ᴛᴇxᴛ

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[emblazes]

[The visual is just startling okay...there are not many explanations to be had.]

Don't climb up here like that!

[Even though the only way to get...up there is to climb. He's gonna slip on garland or some shit...and it's not even like Keith could meet him halfway. He just drops into a crouch, extends a hand.]

Go slow -- why are you making that noise?

[Jingling. Like a cat...]

[competing]

This is the noise of the holiday spirit, my good dude, so drink it in!

[ omg it's fine, it's not like any of this stuff is heavy. see? he gets to the top before you know it, grasping that offered hand like it's routine. cuz it kinda is.

once he gets back on his feet again, he spins around, giving keith the full 360 degree experience. ]

Bells! See? [ he'll lift a foot and wiggle it. jingle jingle jangle. ]

[emblazes]

[Good...dude...that's a demotion...

Lance is up and spinning and Keith's still concerned about him being a major trip hazard. He's right back to handholding once he's finished doing his ballet routine, eyes making a slow pass over him from head to toe...]

Where did you get all of this-?

[He looks like a swamp monster but Christmasy.]

Shouldn't this stuff be on the treehouse?

[competing]

I have my ways.

[ aka he shmoozed to the local business people. but hands! hands held, lance uses the leverage to tug keith in closer, nose-to-nose. ]

But that's where you come in, my jolly holiday elf. [ promotion??! ] You get to help me decorate!

[emblazes]

[Keith; antonyms: jolly, holiday elf. Their noses donk lightly and he's too surprised to refute whatever Lance is obliging him to?!

Initially, at least.]

You mean -- help you undress?!

[We're outside...wtf.]

[competing]

I mean, sure, if you want, later, but I was thinking maybe not decorate the treehouse with my shirt and pants.

[ which he's wearing underneath all this holiday cheer??? keith pls. ]

[emblazes]

[I hate this Old Greg thread.]

I was talking about everything else!

[Don't make an already absurd situation even worse.]

[competing]

Well yes. Families always decorate together!

[ he'll gently boop your nose with his nose, before disengaging to reach around his back. ]

Now help me get this all off, I've been itchy for like thirty minutes.

[emblazes]

[He's been... holiday booped...don't call him family and then unexpectedly boop him. He...

He'll pretend Lance didn't call him the f-word because he shouldn't make a big deal out of it.]

If it's itchy, you're probably allergic to it.

[First rule of natural living, guy. He'll get right to unraveling the tinsel from his torso, lest it cause him to break out into hives.]

[competing]

[ PLS THEY'RE PRACTICALLY MARRIED keith you soft goof you ]

Don't jinx me! I can't afford to break out, there's a party coming up.

[ pout pout pout ]

[emblazes]

[Remember when he loudly gasped when Lance was poking his chest.]

That wouldn't be my fault...

[Still, he's unraveling him like it's a Blade mission...Lance is free in under seven seconds.]

[competing]

[ no that was when he put his hand on your shoulder ]

Quick, quick — have I got hives? Rashes?

[ he twists and turns about, flashing keith all his skin eeey, but no seriously how does he look YOU'VE WORRIED HIM NOW ]

[emblazes]

[NO, WHEN KEITH WAS TALKING ABOUT THE BLUE LION AND ABABABBABA.]

You don't have -- you'd be really itchy if you were covered in anything like that...

[Still, he's turned away with the tinsel.]

You look fine.

[Stop trying to make him horny during Christmas decorating.]

[competing]

[ both times ig ]

I just told you I was itchy?!

[ keef pls

but fine, fine... he'll take your word for it. he doesn't notice anything himself, but he just thought to be sure... ]

Just to be safe, you'll be on tinsel and garland duty. I'll do the lights!

[emblazes]

Really itchy.

[Now Lance is gonna need an STD check before they bump uglies again.]

Fine.

[He'll accept his new duties, since he kind of has to, lest his boyfriend starts foaming. The tinsel finds a place in a heap by his feet, the garland's coming off now...]

[competing]

[ he helps by shimmying out of what he can, his ankle-bells jingling the entire time. he's about to step out of the heap when a thought suddenly occurs to him— ]

Oh! I almost forgot the most important piece!

[ he digs into his back pocket, quickly producing a small sprig of what looks like the alien planet equivalent of, you guessed it— ]

Oops, looks like someone got caught under the mistletoe!

[ ohohohoho how clever. he leans in, puckering his lips. ]

[emblazes]

[He's so engrossed in trying to help him out of the garland that he hasn't a second to consider what could be stuffed in his pockets. Snakes? A festive hat for their child? Weeds?

Weeds.]

Huh?

[He automatically moves to catch Lance by his shoulders.]

Maybe that's what you're allergic to.

[competing]

[ keith why are you like this. ]

I thought you already decided I wasn't allergic to anything!

[ s t o p ]

[emblazes]

I'm not a medic!

[Lance is dramatic, but now, see, he gives a serious shit about him so he's also concerned? He does look fine, though, and is acting fine. Stop making him needlessly paranoid.]

I don't think you can use that for anything.

[Do you think Keith knows what mistletoe's about? I'm gonna pretend he thinks Lance is tryina save that for gem harvesting.]

[competing]

[ omg keith does he have to teach you everything... ]

What? No, it's — it's a mistletoe! You know... for kissing??

[emblazes]

[He's expecting a bit more. More words. A longer explanation. A staredown ensues for seven seconds.]

We...need that?

[To do that??]

[competing]

I mean. No... But it's part of the holiday fun? You know, you get caught under one, you gotta smooch...

[emblazes]

[He's never done that before, or been invited to a holiday party....minus whatever the Garrison would host which was probably lame and G-rated.]

Then what?

[competing]

Then... that's it! You just smooch! It's not that [ deep ] complicated!

[emblazes]

[This is so Extra.]

Oh.