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[emblazes]

 
ᴄᴀʟʟ × ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ × ᴛᴇxᴛ

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[competing]

[ no that was when he put his hand on your shoulder ]

Quick, quick — have I got hives? Rashes?

[ he twists and turns about, flashing keith all his skin eeey, but no seriously how does he look YOU'VE WORRIED HIM NOW ]

[emblazes]

[NO, WHEN KEITH WAS TALKING ABOUT THE BLUE LION AND ABABABBABA.]

You don't have -- you'd be really itchy if you were covered in anything like that...

[Still, he's turned away with the tinsel.]

You look fine.

[Stop trying to make him horny during Christmas decorating.]

[competing]

[ both times ig ]

I just told you I was itchy?!

[ keef pls

but fine, fine... he'll take your word for it. he doesn't notice anything himself, but he just thought to be sure... ]

Just to be safe, you'll be on tinsel and garland duty. I'll do the lights!

[emblazes]

Really itchy.

[Now Lance is gonna need an STD check before they bump uglies again.]

Fine.

[He'll accept his new duties, since he kind of has to, lest his boyfriend starts foaming. The tinsel finds a place in a heap by his feet, the garland's coming off now...]

[competing]

[ he helps by shimmying out of what he can, his ankle-bells jingling the entire time. he's about to step out of the heap when a thought suddenly occurs to him— ]

Oh! I almost forgot the most important piece!

[ he digs into his back pocket, quickly producing a small sprig of what looks like the alien planet equivalent of, you guessed it— ]

Oops, looks like someone got caught under the mistletoe!

[ ohohohoho how clever. he leans in, puckering his lips. ]

[emblazes]

[He's so engrossed in trying to help him out of the garland that he hasn't a second to consider what could be stuffed in his pockets. Snakes? A festive hat for their child? Weeds?

Weeds.]

Huh?

[He automatically moves to catch Lance by his shoulders.]

Maybe that's what you're allergic to.

[competing]

[ keith why are you like this. ]

I thought you already decided I wasn't allergic to anything!

[ s t o p ]

[emblazes]

I'm not a medic!

[Lance is dramatic, but now, see, he gives a serious shit about him so he's also concerned? He does look fine, though, and is acting fine. Stop making him needlessly paranoid.]

I don't think you can use that for anything.

[Do you think Keith knows what mistletoe's about? I'm gonna pretend he thinks Lance is tryina save that for gem harvesting.]

[competing]

[ omg keith does he have to teach you everything... ]

What? No, it's — it's a mistletoe! You know... for kissing??

[emblazes]

[He's expecting a bit more. More words. A longer explanation. A staredown ensues for seven seconds.]

We...need that?

[To do that??]

[competing]

I mean. No... But it's part of the holiday fun? You know, you get caught under one, you gotta smooch...

[emblazes]

[He's never done that before, or been invited to a holiday party....minus whatever the Garrison would host which was probably lame and G-rated.]

Then what?

[competing]

Then... that's it! You just smooch! It's not that [ deep ] complicated!

[emblazes]

[This is so Extra.]

Oh.

[competing]

Nevermind.

[ YOU RUINED IT, KEITH. lance spins around, EMBARRASSED, and grumpily starts tugging off the rest of the strung lights from his arms. ]

[emblazes]

[HOW COULD HE RUIN IT WHEN HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW...PLEAS HAVE MERCY. THIS IS HOW THE GRINCH IS BORN.]

.....

[He'll just uh, take up the task of winding tinsel around their porch banister things...]

[competing]

[ all he wanted was some holiday smooching... hmph.



but at least keith is decorating. that's sort of a win, right? whatever the case, lance has finished stringing up the lights along the roof of their little tree house (don't ask how, maybe he stepped on the railings or something).

ah, but where is he gonna plug in the plug... ]

I wonder if they sell extension cords in Wyver...

[emblazes]

[He's not even sure if he's doing this right? But wrapping the tinsel around and around is the only way to make it stay without adding tape. Just tucking the ends into itself once he's hit a corner...]

Just take one from the radio.

[His manmade radio that probably doesn't have the right plug and would require an adapter for Christmas-light use. He's sure there's an adapter somewhere, if it helps.]

[competing]

I'm not gonna take it from your radio, don't you need that?

[ lance may not know a single thing about your radio ventures, but he at the very least knows it's important to you. hmph! ]

[emblazes]

It doesn't work.

[MOST SHOCKING ADMITTANCE OF 2017. It hasn't worked, and even if it did work, he shouldn't need to plug it in. It's a purposely-offhand comment as he finishes up on his end.]

You knew it didn't work...

[competing]

Yeah, but that didn't mean it couldn't, one day...

[ look, he gives you grief about your weird hobbies, but that doesn't mean he doesn't! believe! in you!! ]

[emblazes]

It's not gonna work anytime soon.

[He's confident for some reason....just pull the plug...]

[competing]

Why? You stopped working on it?

[ but.. ur dreamz.... ]

[emblazes]

I didn't stop, there's just nothing left to do.

[Like, he could keep tweaking it everyday...but he needs a break from that nonworking piece of shit.]

[competing]

[ lance doesn't know if he buys it... but he just shrugs. ]

I'll mess with it tomorrow, then. [ he's gonna just stretch his arms up high over his head, yawning around a groan. ] It's late anyway. I had to haggle with an old guy for those garlands, and man was he chatty. [ which is saying something, coming from him... ]