[ the scene keith crawls into is not a pretty one:
witness lance mcwhatshisnane, blue paladin of voltron, doing his best to squeeze himself into the small space of their meager 3x4 tentlike thing by curling himself up into a sad little ball, all knees and elbows and angles. still, despite practically eating his own knees, he still somehow looks quite smug... because he did it. he's not sure what he did. but he did it. ]
[Lance is just, a large cat trying to fit into an amazon prime box that originally held a small collection of Batman VCRs. That's to say...he looks uncomfortable. This looks uncomfortable.]
Yeah, we got a ton of stuff.
[A gross exaggeration to overcompensate for Lance's inability to keep track of three things: tent, food, clothes..sleeping bag? Maybe not everybody got the same thing...
Furthermore: four things isn't a ton of stuff unless he's chiding Lance about it.]
...I'm staying outside.
[Lance didn't even get to be a jerk about it. He's already reversing.]
[ wow sorry he was busy tackling this tent while you had all that time to get acquainted with their stuff! in any case, he's taking the opportunity to detangle himself and poke his head out of the tent flaps, tossing the other a Look. ]
Weren't you the one talking about needing this tent, or we'd have "worse than poison ivy" to think about?
[By the time Lance questions his conflicting ideas, Keith's rummaging through their collection of nonsense, pulling the wrapped-up sleeping bag from the clusterfuck, shaking it out...]
Yeah, that was before you broke it.
[The same sleeping bag ends up being offered to Lance, lest he have to sleep face down in the dirt...]
I'm staying awake in case the others show up.
[At least there's some purpose to having a shitty one-person tent. Inspiration to stay awake.]
It was already broken— [ comes his quick and easy retort, but half of it gets muffled when there's suddenly a sleeping bag thrust into his face. he sputters and leans back, hands going around the material to grab it from keith, but only so he can stare between them warily. ]
...what, you're taking first shift?
[ because for all his bellyaching, he doesn't actually expect the other to stay awake all night. some more shifting, some more futile attempts to get comfortable in there. ]
[Maybe he's so tired from everything ever thus far that he lacks even the smallest amount of energy required to kick Lance out, elbow him into an even smaller consistency or just plain argue about who should sleep first (rock paper scissors..), but he's decidedly okay with playing guard for now...for a shift.
The truth is that he was appalled when he looked in and saw Lance inside of the tent he worked so hard to pitch.]
Yeah, sure.
[Not that he'll be timekeeping. He'll be too busy setting up a fire, catching bugs for protein, etc...100% NOT SPOONING.]
[ somehow... someway... lance manages to make that sleeping bag fit in that tiny tent. of course, now that he isn't that concerned with making space for the other, he's got a lot more legroom to stretch out (ish), and while it is far from ideal, sleep is sleep, and it only takes a couple of minutes with his eyes shut to convince his body that he is in desperate need of it.
and so he's knocked out like a light in no time at all. ]
[Nevertheless, Keith's happy to be making good on that bracketed promise of collecting firewood and trying his damnedest to start a fire -- which takes far longer than he can ever recall it happening in the past. It takes an approximate hour from collecting twigs to actually having a flame perk out from the smoke and makeshift tinder, all encircled by a flimsy rock barrier just in case.
He's sorted their rations, boiled their allotted water...another 'just in case' but of a different nature and every time he attempts a psychic link (ikr) of sorts with Red, he ends up nearly passing out. He's tired, too, and...
He keeps lurching awake. Either because the side of his head's made contact with the ground, or because of something distant snapping or rustling -- faraway animals, maybe hostile aliens? It isn't out of fear, but aggravation that he finds himself retreating into their ant tent. He's cautious about not bumping either post as he goes, and then proceeds to flop down on his side, outside of the sleeping bag but on top of it, just to the side of...however Lance is sprawled out, trying not to occupy a whole lot of room, just enough to be comfortable.]
[ anyway it's hard to tell exactly how much time passes. in earth terms, it's roughly 35 minutes but who knows what kinds of standards of measurements this planet uses. in any case, lance feels himself stir awake as his body begins to overheat, meaning he rouses to the strange feeling of mild suffocation. blinking blearily, he attempts to shrug off the sleeping bag to get some air on his skin. in the process, he feels something much heavier sort of flop right off.
it's the sound more than the feeling that startles him a little more awake, but he's still about 80% unconscious so it takes his mind a little longer to follow the source of the sound (an arm!), and then a little longer more to realize that that arm connected to... someone...
now, in any other case, one would be thrilled to find that the seemingly lifeless arm actually connected to something.
but considering this is lance, and that is keith, the current blue paladin of voltron's response isn't that much of an overreaction. ]
[In Lance's only defense: Keith could have warned him.
If it were anyone but Lance, he could maybe rationalize a reaction like this. Being marooned on an alien planet for ambiguous reasons would be enough to tip the scales in the favor of wild paranoia. He's jostled by Lance's movements -- not enough to be woken up completely, but enough to twitch his fingers, irrelevantly readjust his legs...
And then there's that scream; it's like a yeti giving birth in an oven. He jolts awake, immediately aware of where he is, who's beside him -- his eyes leap from the entrance, to the roof, to the very slight, vacant space before him, all of which happening in an instant.]
What?!
[He can't pinpoint an immediate threat anywhere. He shift-rolls over, since he can't really sit up. He's lying in Lance's direction propped up on an arm, eyes shifting from his gaping abyss of a mouth to...well, the rest of him, just in case. In the off chance he was being swallowed by a python or under duress for something similar. Alas, he seems whole and fine.]
[ were there anyone near their camp, surely they must have heard the ruckus. but even in the handful of tense, silent seconds that follows their mutual shouting of names, not any other sound comes. it seems if people are aware, they're wisely staying out of it.
lance, for his part, has scooted as far back as possible, back already flush against the nylon material of their shabby tent. given the sheer size of it, this doesn't really afford them much extra room, one of his knees pressing against a soft spot in keith's gut, and his other foot hovering over the other's elbow. ]
What the heck, what are you doing here! I thought you were on look-out?!
[Another, for the knee in his gut. A hand finds it, the palm of it cradling the stabby joint instead of pushing it away and bending it too far in an awkward direction -- which would totally be deserved. He's just distracted.
Distracted by being jolted awake and having to explain why he abandoned his station out front with a brain that's still trying to process that outburst.]
There isn't anything outside!
[Definitively, in contrast, again, to his fears of whatever might find them under the bleak shroud of darkness. That said, it's gotta be impressive that a guy as unreasonably suspicious of all things ever as he is managed to doze off, even if it was only for an approximate half an hour.]
It's freezing out, nothing's... [A sleepy glare through the darkness; there's a perishing fire that exists just beyond the tent's entrance. It's providing enough light to possibly embolden his tired, angry face.] Move your foot!
[ the retort itself is more instinctive than sincere, especially considering keith's feet are nowhere near him... which is fortunate, considering lance is pretty sure keith didn't bother to take off his gross boots before climbing into the tent...
speaking of. ]
If you were cold, you should've just said something.
[ of course it's easy to say that now, after the fact, but lance is like 85% sure he would have been compassionate enough to not have given keith too much of a hard time before offering to share their one blanket... or even making the fire bigger or something.
and speaking of fire, a lot of his has simmered now that he's had the change to sort of regather, reassess. he tosses a glance outside as well, brow furrowing as he tries to calculate how long the other had been out there on his own, refusing to say something. ]
Here — [ he shrugs off the blanket, tossing it over keith's body (most notably his face). ] I'll take second shift now.
[He actually needs a moment to check where his, indeed, booted feet are located.]
They're not even near you?!
[Which isn't entirely true due to the compactness of their little sanctuary, but his feet are certainly not touching Lance at all. The tetchiness only broadens from there, he's looking borderline butthurt at the suggestion that he was cold and therefore needed to retreat. Just as he opens his mouth to rebuke that with a little more than an I didn't mean it like that, his face is shrouded in darkness.
Which lasts a millisecond. He's sitting up and brushing the blanket from his face in the same motion, letting it collect in a sad heap at his lap.]
I'm going back out, the fire needs more wood.
[There he is, coming to his senses. Like a dad that won't pull over for directions, Keith's already moving to take over second shift.
Except that his legs are getting all tangled in the blanket somehow, and he's kicking at Lance to get it off??? Unintentionally, of course.]
[ it's almost amazing how quickly a kind gesture can suddenly become an effort in competition, because the moment keith makes moves to head back out and attend to the arduous task of keeping watch (again) himself, lance feels a sharp spike in his determination to be the one to do it first. it's not even a matter of courtesy, or even a gesture in friendship now; suddenly it's about getting there first, all because keith suddenly doesn't want him to, because he'd look even worse if he didn't now. ]
Come back here!
[ you can't rob him of this kind gesture, keith! this was supposed to be equal! mutual!
now it's lance's turn to lunge, though it's more like a tiny pounce considering the lack of space to really do anything within that tent. a half-second later he's got his arms wrapped tight around keith's waist, the furthest thing he could reach in this short amount of time, and using his own weight he brings the other boy back down to the ground, preventing him for fully reaching the flap of their sad little tent. once down, he tries to climb right over keith, making for the opening himself. ]
[Keith's vulnerable in having his legs caught in that blanket. That's the only reason he's being manhandled -- like a salmon caught between a bear's paws.]
What is your problem?!
[Tiny pounce or not, Lance has managed to turn this into a race (at the very least) of some sort, and now he's doubly stressed. He rises on his knees, lifting his butt and contemplating a somersault but he's not afforded enough room to really..proceed with that. Someone here would end up with a broken neck and:
1. He's not that desperate to call dibs on (re)firebuilding and general sentry work 2. It'd probably be his neck. 3. TBD.]
You have no idea what you're doing! Get off-!
[With that, he'll move onto plan be, which is simply: rolling over, trying to pin Lance down underneath him, which is awkward and cumbersome but very necessary. If he's at all successful in flipping Lance onto his back, he'll be struggling to roll himself over -- to properly pin Lance between himself and the ground.
Talk about a commotion. Someone's gonna chuck a pot at them. Two tomcats fighting in an alley.]
[ this is it, this is how they'll die. not because of hypothermia, or from falling asleep with a fire still going on; no, they'll die from a stampede of animals, all spurred on by all the noise they're making.
with a sharp grunt, lance presses the flat of his palm against the underside of keith's jaw, trying to force enough distance between the two of them that he can wriggle out from underneath the other boy's weight. lance has at least two, maybe even three inches on the guy, surely he has enough strength and weight that this shouldn't even be an issue? and yet, somehow, keith's got him. pinned with a hand at his other elbow and the other one holding down his shoulder, the full brunt of his weight on lance's right hip.
at this point, all he has left is plan e, a tried and true method he has long since perfected as being the youngest child of five:
twisting his neck, he leans over just enough to run his tongue over the hand keith's got on his shoulder, because if similar squabbles with his siblings have taught him anything, it's that saliva is always a deal breaker. ]
Let no critical, or exceedingly simple task go without some kind of giant farce between red and blue. If asked directly, he wouldn't be able to provide a concrete excuse for keeping Lance away from the fire; surely he's gone camping before. More than that, cave people were capable of maintaining warmth -- so says the discovery channel. For all intents and purposes, this is probably one of their most superficial slapfights to date...
Now that he's got Lance wedged beneath him, he's trying to figure out how to keep him there. Maybe if he just keeps him like so, he'll drift back to sleep naturally? The plan backfires almost immediately as something slimy, and wet crosses his exposed fingers.
A sick feeling wells up in the pit of his stomach. Same as when you're not quite sure if you've left the stove on in the midst of galaxy-hopping.]
Did you just lick me..?!
[It's an accusation that comes with swift response; he's smearing his fingers against Lance's face thereafter. It worked as a distraction, though he's still sitting on Lance, weighing awkwardly on his hip. It'd be possible to topple him.]
[ ALL'S FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR, KEITH, and no please do not read too much into that okay the point is you left yourself open, and so you must suffer the consequences.
funny how those consequences also involve lance suffering, but there's always collateral damage in war... he makes a strange, squawking sort of sound when his face is suddenly smushed by damp fingers. he turns his face away in an attempt to mitigate the damage, but he definitely got poked in the eye at least twice. ]
Quit it!
[ he pushes a little more with his hand right under keith's chin, trying to force the boy's head back enough that he wouldn't be able to see where he's smearing (which is probably what leads to all the eye poking, tbh). the struggle persists, because they're alarmingly fairly evenly matched as far as strength goes, if only because the distribution of keith's weight has him at a disadvantage. he tries to thrash around beneath the boy, resorting to the old bucking bronco trick and hoping maybe he can disrupt the other enough to throw him off.
he isn't given much time to really see if this will work out for him, for in the next second there is a sound so startling it causes him to go entirely still. ]
Hang on, hang on — do you hear that?
[ some rustling outside, and another sharp keening sound. an animal, of sorts... almost squeaking?? ]
[Literally, kinda. If he'd just sit still and let him go about his business. Of course, he doesn't have to be so relentless in his counterattack. Speaking of counterattacks, the chin-shove has him biting his tongue -- an uncharacteristic yelp follows.
Weakened, he's in the process of sitting up to at least prevent a second wave of rust from rushing his mouth; he doesn't get very far, though. Both due to their low ceiling and Lance's sudden hush-hush air.
This is probably a ruse; Lance is going to headbutt him any second.]
No. [It's a firm, quick response. He's not even trying...] You made me bite my tongue!
[Quick to follow is a louder, hamstery noise. It isn't coming from him, nor does it look like Lance is doing it. Likewise, the noise seems to be coming from outside; a shadowy figure -- like a badger or something, is just-perceptible in the triangular opening of their tent. Why couldn't it just be a ruse?
KNIFE. Knife, he's going for his knife, subtly, as if they haven't already outed themselves. Of course Keith would immediately think to try and gut something small and rodenty.]
[ a ready apology was sitting on the tip of his tongue (because he did feel bad about actually hurting the guy, despite all the previous and current roughhousing going on), but that apology quickly dies the moment he sees keith's hand reach for something shiny. lance tenses up considerably, having enough of his senses to know that that thing, whatever it is, is definitely close enough now to know something's gotta be up. ]
You dummy! [ he hisses this is typical stage-whisper style. ] Don't do anything stu—
[ but it's too late. they've angered the rodent gods. no more than a few seconds after keith makes his move and lance tries to dissuade him from it, the creature in question lets out a chatter not unlike a small laugh...
and then suddenly the inside of their tent is filled with some sort of dull-colored gas, and lance yells sharply in response, reaching up to try and clamp down on his nose and mouth. oh my god, oh my god they're gonna die of fart, and it's all keith's fault— ]
[This is how they die; whatever's been blown into their tent is, decidedly, not very skunky. His eyes aren't at all watering, but the uncertainty of it all has him pulling the collar of his shirt up over the bridge of his nose and cupping his hand over both that and his mouth. He's squinting through the fumes, trying to catch a glimpse of wherever that thing scurried off to, and despite having revenge on his mind for all of three seconds...
That sentiment's leaving him in a hurry; there's a calmness filling that gap, even as he's strangling the handle of his knife.
....So maybe they are being poisoned. This is how he dies. Semi-straddling Lance in a tent that's way too small for them, on a planet they don't know anything about. At least the blue paladin's last words weren't borderline whining about an injured tongue -- excluding that scream, anyway. Speaking of, he suddenly finds himself more rapt on the guy beneath him than he is focused on the gas or the fact that they're dying.
He won't dare try to speak. Not until the smoke becomes grows distilled and translucent. For now, he'll just quietly stare at Lance. Like in this scene from Lady and the Tramp.]
[ lance is a swimmer, and so he manages to hold his breath for all of three minutes. that's two and a half minutes longer than keith bothers to, meaning the effects of the gas get to him a lot slower. there are two entire minutes wherein lance just stares back at the other, brow arched sharply in question. he has to think something is wrong, or something has happened, because keith is suddenly so still, and staring at him so intently—
when he finally breathes in, he realizes the gas doesn't smell. like, at all. still it lingers, making the air between them slightly foggy, slightly misty. but as it clears, as he breathes in more, he feels a similar fog sort of settle over his own mind. his heartbeat slows from panicked to something else entirely. not quite a calm, but a very different, very specific sort of peace.
slowly, he swallows. he's suddenly very, very aware of how close keith is. ]
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witness lance mcwhatshisnane, blue paladin of voltron, doing his best to squeeze himself into the small space of their meager 3x4 tentlike thing by curling himself up into a sad little ball, all knees and elbows and angles. still, despite practically eating his own knees, he still somehow looks quite smug... because he did it. he's not sure what he did. but he did it. ]
—we had sleeping bags?
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Yeah, we got a ton of stuff.
[A gross exaggeration to overcompensate for Lance's inability to keep track of three things: tent, food, clothes..sleeping bag? Maybe not everybody got the same thing...
Furthermore: four things isn't a ton of stuff unless he's chiding Lance about it.]
...I'm staying outside.
[Lance didn't even get to be a jerk about it. He's already reversing.]
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Weren't you the one talking about needing this tent, or we'd have "worse than poison ivy" to think about?
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Yeah, that was before you broke it.
[The same sleeping bag ends up being offered to Lance, lest he have to sleep face down in the dirt...]
I'm staying awake in case the others show up.
[At least there's some purpose to having a shitty one-person tent. Inspiration to stay awake.]
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...what, you're taking first shift?
[ because for all his bellyaching, he doesn't actually expect the other to stay awake all night. some more shifting, some more futile attempts to get comfortable in there. ]
Wake me up after a couple of hours, then.
[ ;A; his poor beauty sleep... ]
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The truth is that he was appalled when he looked in and saw Lance inside of the tent he worked so hard to pitch.]
Yeah, sure.
[Not that he'll be timekeeping. He'll be too busy setting up a fire, catching bugs for protein, etc...100% NOT SPOONING.]
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and so he's knocked out like a light in no time at all. ]
1/2
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He's sorted their rations, boiled their allotted water...another 'just in case' but of a different nature and every time he attempts a psychic link (ikr) of sorts with Red, he ends up nearly passing out. He's tired, too, and...
He keeps lurching awake. Either because the side of his head's made contact with the ground, or because of something distant snapping or rustling -- faraway animals, maybe hostile aliens? It isn't out of fear, but aggravation that he finds himself retreating into their ant tent. He's cautious about not bumping either post as he goes, and then proceeds to flop down on his side, outside of the sleeping bag but on top of it, just to the side of...however Lance is sprawled out, trying not to occupy a whole lot of room, just enough to be comfortable.]
1/2
2/2
it's the sound more than the feeling that startles him a little more awake, but he's still about 80% unconscious so it takes his mind a little longer to follow the source of the sound (an arm!), and then a little longer more to realize that that arm connected to... someone...
now, in any other case, one would be thrilled to find that the seemingly lifeless arm actually connected to something.
but considering this is lance, and that is keith, the current blue paladin of voltron's response isn't that much of an overreaction. ]
aaaaAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
[ or maybe it is. ]
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If it were anyone but Lance, he could maybe rationalize a reaction like this. Being marooned on an alien planet for ambiguous reasons would be enough to tip the scales in the favor of wild paranoia. He's jostled by Lance's movements -- not enough to be woken up completely, but enough to twitch his fingers, irrelevantly readjust his legs...
And then there's that scream; it's like a yeti giving birth in an oven. He jolts awake, immediately aware of where he is, who's beside him -- his eyes leap from the entrance, to the roof, to the very slight, vacant space before him, all of which happening in an instant.]
What?!
[He can't pinpoint an immediate threat anywhere. He shift-rolls over, since he can't really sit up. He's lying in Lance's direction propped up on an arm, eyes shifting from his gaping abyss of a mouth to...well, the rest of him, just in case. In the off chance he was being swallowed by a python or under duress for something similar. Alas, he seems whole and fine.]
LANCE!
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[ were there anyone near their camp, surely they must have heard the ruckus. but even in the handful of tense, silent seconds that follows their mutual shouting of names, not any other sound comes. it seems if people are aware, they're wisely staying out of it.
lance, for his part, has scooted as far back as possible, back already flush against the nylon material of their shabby tent. given the sheer size of it, this doesn't really afford them much extra room, one of his knees pressing against a soft spot in keith's gut, and his other foot hovering over the other's elbow. ]
What the heck, what are you doing here! I thought you were on look-out?!
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[Another, for the knee in his gut. A hand finds it, the palm of it cradling the stabby joint instead of pushing it away and bending it too far in an awkward direction -- which would totally be deserved. He's just distracted.
Distracted by being jolted awake and having to explain why he abandoned his station out front with a brain that's still trying to process that outburst.]
There isn't anything outside!
[Definitively, in contrast, again, to his fears of whatever might find them under the bleak shroud of darkness. That said, it's gotta be impressive that a guy as unreasonably suspicious of all things ever as he is managed to doze off, even if it was only for an approximate half an hour.]
It's freezing out, nothing's... [A sleepy glare through the darkness; there's a perishing fire that exists just beyond the tent's entrance. It's providing enough light to possibly embolden his tired, angry face.] Move your foot!
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[ the retort itself is more instinctive than sincere, especially considering keith's feet are nowhere near him... which is fortunate, considering lance is pretty sure keith didn't bother to take off his gross boots before climbing into the tent...
speaking of. ]
If you were cold, you should've just said something.
[ of course it's easy to say that now, after the fact, but lance is like 85% sure he would have been compassionate enough to not have given keith too much of a hard time before offering to share their one blanket... or even making the fire bigger or something.
and speaking of fire, a lot of his has simmered now that he's had the change to sort of regather, reassess. he tosses a glance outside as well, brow furrowing as he tries to calculate how long the other had been out there on his own, refusing to say something. ]
Here — [ he shrugs off the blanket, tossing it over keith's body (most notably his face). ] I'll take second shift now.
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They're not even near you?!
[Which isn't entirely true due to the compactness of their little sanctuary, but his feet are certainly not touching Lance at all. The tetchiness only broadens from there, he's looking borderline butthurt at the suggestion that he was cold and therefore needed to retreat. Just as he opens his mouth to rebuke that with a little more than an I didn't mean it like that, his face is shrouded in darkness.
Which lasts a millisecond. He's sitting up and brushing the blanket from his face in the same motion, letting it collect in a sad heap at his lap.]
I'm going back out, the fire needs more wood.
[There he is, coming to his senses. Like a dad that won't pull over for directions, Keith's already moving to take over second shift.
Except that his legs are getting all tangled in the blanket somehow, and he's kicking at Lance to get it off??? Unintentionally, of course.]
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[ it's almost amazing how quickly a kind gesture can suddenly become an effort in competition, because the moment keith makes moves to head back out and attend to the arduous task of keeping watch (again) himself, lance feels a sharp spike in his determination to be the one to do it first. it's not even a matter of courtesy, or even a gesture in friendship now; suddenly it's about getting there first, all because keith suddenly doesn't want him to, because he'd look even worse if he didn't now. ]
Come back here!
[ you can't rob him of this kind gesture, keith! this was supposed to be equal! mutual!
now it's lance's turn to lunge, though it's more like a tiny pounce considering the lack of space to really do anything within that tent. a half-second later he's got his arms wrapped tight around keith's waist, the furthest thing he could reach in this short amount of time, and using his own weight he brings the other boy back down to the ground, preventing him for fully reaching the flap of their sad little tent. once down, he tries to climb right over keith, making for the opening himself. ]
Stay here, I got it!
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What is your problem?!
[Tiny pounce or not, Lance has managed to turn this into a race (at the very least) of some sort, and now he's doubly stressed. He rises on his knees, lifting his butt and contemplating a somersault but he's not afforded enough room to really..proceed with that. Someone here would end up with a broken neck and:
1. He's not that desperate to call dibs on (re)firebuilding and general sentry work
2. It'd probably be his neck.
3. TBD.]
You have no idea what you're doing! Get off-!
[With that, he'll move onto plan be, which is simply: rolling over, trying to pin Lance down underneath him, which is awkward and cumbersome but very necessary. If he's at all successful in flipping Lance onto his back, he'll be struggling to roll himself over -- to properly pin Lance between himself and the ground.
Talk about a commotion. Someone's gonna chuck a pot at them. Two tomcats fighting in an alley.]
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[ this is it, this is how they'll die. not because of hypothermia, or from falling asleep with a fire still going on; no, they'll die from a stampede of animals, all spurred on by all the noise they're making.
with a sharp grunt, lance presses the flat of his palm against the underside of keith's jaw, trying to force enough distance between the two of them that he can wriggle out from underneath the other boy's weight. lance has at least two, maybe even three inches on the guy, surely he has enough strength and weight that this shouldn't even be an issue? and yet, somehow, keith's got him. pinned with a hand at his other elbow and the other one holding down his shoulder, the full brunt of his weight on lance's right hip.
at this point, all he has left is plan e, a tried and true method he has long since perfected as being the youngest child of five:
twisting his neck, he leans over just enough to run his tongue over the hand keith's got on his shoulder, because if similar squabbles with his siblings have taught him anything, it's that saliva is always a deal breaker. ]
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Let no critical, or exceedingly simple task go without some kind of giant farce between red and blue. If asked directly, he wouldn't be able to provide a concrete excuse for keeping Lance away from the fire; surely he's gone camping before. More than that, cave people were capable of maintaining warmth -- so says the discovery channel. For all intents and purposes, this is probably one of their most superficial slapfights to date...
Now that he's got Lance wedged beneath him, he's trying to figure out how to keep him there. Maybe if he just keeps him like so, he'll drift back to sleep naturally? The plan backfires almost immediately as something slimy, and wet crosses his exposed fingers.
A sick feeling wells up in the pit of his stomach. Same as when you're not quite sure if you've left the stove on in the midst of galaxy-hopping.]
Did you just lick me..?!
[It's an accusation that comes with swift response; he's smearing his fingers against Lance's face thereafter. It worked as a distraction, though he's still sitting on Lance, weighing awkwardly on his hip. It'd be possible to topple him.]
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funny how those consequences also involve lance suffering, but there's always collateral damage in war... he makes a strange, squawking sort of sound when his face is suddenly smushed by damp fingers. he turns his face away in an attempt to mitigate the damage, but he definitely got poked in the eye at least twice. ]
Quit it!
[ he pushes a little more with his hand right under keith's chin, trying to force the boy's head back enough that he wouldn't be able to see where he's smearing (which is probably what leads to all the eye poking, tbh). the struggle persists, because they're alarmingly fairly evenly matched as far as strength goes, if only because the distribution of keith's weight has him at a disadvantage. he tries to thrash around beneath the boy, resorting to the old bucking bronco trick and hoping maybe he can disrupt the other enough to throw him off.
he isn't given much time to really see if this will work out for him, for in the next second there is a sound so startling it causes him to go entirely still. ]
Hang on, hang on — do you hear that?
[ some rustling outside, and another sharp keening sound. an animal, of sorts... almost squeaking?? ]
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[Literally, kinda. If he'd just sit still and let him go about his business. Of course, he doesn't have to be so relentless in his counterattack. Speaking of counterattacks, the chin-shove has him biting his tongue -- an uncharacteristic yelp follows.
Weakened, he's in the process of sitting up to at least prevent a second wave of rust from rushing his mouth; he doesn't get very far, though. Both due to their low ceiling and Lance's sudden hush-hush air.
This is probably a ruse; Lance is going to headbutt him any second.]
No. [It's a firm, quick response. He's not even trying...] You made me bite my tongue!
[Quick to follow is a louder, hamstery noise. It isn't coming from him, nor does it look like Lance is doing it. Likewise, the noise seems to be coming from outside; a shadowy figure -- like a badger or something, is just-perceptible in the triangular opening of their tent. Why couldn't it just be a ruse?
KNIFE. Knife, he's going for his knife, subtly, as if they haven't already outed themselves. Of course Keith would immediately think to try and gut something small and rodenty.]
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You dummy! [ he hisses this is typical stage-whisper style. ] Don't do anything stu—
[ but it's too late. they've angered the rodent gods. no more than a few seconds after keith makes his move and lance tries to dissuade him from it, the creature in question lets out a chatter not unlike a small laugh...
and then suddenly the inside of their tent is filled with some sort of dull-colored gas, and lance yells sharply in response, reaching up to try and clamp down on his nose and mouth. oh my god, oh my god they're gonna die of fart, and it's all keith's fault— ]
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That sentiment's leaving him in a hurry; there's a calmness filling that gap, even as he's strangling the handle of his knife.
....So maybe they are being poisoned. This is how he dies. Semi-straddling Lance in a tent that's way too small for them, on a planet they don't know anything about. At least the blue paladin's last words weren't borderline whining about an injured tongue -- excluding that scream, anyway. Speaking of, he suddenly finds himself more rapt on the guy beneath him than he is focused on the gas or the fact that they're dying.
He won't dare try to speak. Not until the smoke becomes grows distilled and translucent. For now, he'll just quietly stare at Lance. Like in this scene from Lady and the Tramp.]
is that what you used your new ps on...
when he finally breathes in, he realizes the gas doesn't smell. like, at all. still it lingers, making the air between them slightly foggy, slightly misty. but as it clears, as he breathes in more, he feels a similar fog sort of settle over his own mind. his heartbeat slows from panicked to something else entirely. not quite a calm, but a very different, very specific sort of peace.
slowly, he swallows. he's suddenly very, very aware of how close keith is. ]
...what?
yes...now i'm deleting it
no takebacks!!
it's a lot of responsibility though
too bad... this is your bed now...
i'll manage...i guess
good luck...
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